Pulling Back, Moving Forward

Listening to Scritti Politti - The Sweetest Girl

Feeling tired, bored and suprisingly content (for the moment).

Wanting something cool and fun to happen, soon.


I did something bad today, maybe not bad but stupid and it could have been avoided but I didn't go to the necessary lengths to ensure that didn't happen. For that reason I should feel terrible, I do but I've buried it somewhere already in the unconscious mind. This is easier to do the more often you do it. It's happened a lot, I let myself down a lot. Seems weird to think that if you know you'll let yourself down and feel shit about it, you still end up doing it anyway. Why? Why do it? Anyway, I'm meeting a friend tomorrow night for a drink in town, that should take my mind off things and also give me a different perspective hopefully. My love-life's a bit weird at the moment. Managing to keep hold of old relationships while new ones come into focus. Probably not a good idea but I'm leaving soon so what does it matter? Also, seeing as I have the feeling it's all not too important to certain people...I shouldn't feel guilty if I want to be with someone else, right? I don't have a clue how things are going to work out anymore. I've been told to stay away from someone because they are bad for me. I want to find out, an opportunity to discover more has arisen lately and i'm just waiting now to see what that will be.

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